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Although I've been a vegetarian for over ten years, I started to eat fish once I came to China. The health benefits of fish are undeniable, but it was never my favorite kind of food. What I dislike the most are the bones. Nothing is worse than biting into a fillet littered with hundreds of tiny, sharp bones. The Chinese have got me licked on this one. When it comes to things like fish bones, seeds, or shells, most people just bully through and swallow them.

At 3 AM one particular Saturday morning, I was seated across from a dream girl. She was a jazz singer from Shanghai, and I spent the better part of the last two months going to see her show in hopes of a chance to take her out afterwards. Tonight was the night. It was slow for a Friday, so we were able to talk during each of her set breaks. Later when she appeared from backstage with her coat on and asked if I was hungry, I practically leapt from my chair.

We were the only people in the restaurant which had very little vegetarian options on offer. I decided on baked salmon. Trying to acclimate as much as possible to this culture, I was doing a pretty good job at swallowing the bones. Only three or four big ones lay on my plate. The conversation was going well and getting more and more personal just as a bone went down the wrong way and stuck in my throat. I grabbed for my water right when Shawn decided to ask a big question.

"So, why haven't you ever gotten married" She asked.

She was giving me all the right signals, but I had to pause before answering due to the lack of oxygen flow to my lungs. I tried to sip the water as calmly as possible. She mistook my hesitation for reluctance and chuckled a little.

"Good question," she answered herself.

The water did the trick. I wasn't going to need her to give me the Heimlich maneuver but I was still left with the aftermath of being voiceless and teary-eyed. When I looked up, she winced ever so slightly, no doubt noticing the tears.

"I, ugh ugh, almost got, ugh, married once." I was afraid to wipe my eyes but even more afraid a tear may actually roll down my cheek.

There was no way out of it. All of a sudden I had become a heart-broken sob who can't even hear the word "married" without blubbering. I decided to cut my losses and just take the full moment I needed to regain myself. "I don't know," is what came out after the moment passed. "Things change."